Willie Mullins to take break from training

Later today we can reveal that Willie Mullins will announce a 3-year break from training horses.

Just before midnight yesterday, following the England rugby union grand-slam, Mullins accepted a post with the Irish RFU as fitness coach.  He will fulfill this role in preparation for Ireland’s tilt at the next world cup in just over 3-years time.

His 5-million euro per annum contract; the biggest ever contract in rugby union, will be funded by a group of big bookmakers and a Mr G Banks.  The spokesperson for the group, the brother of Mr Banks; namely their Robin (remember him from Mary Poppins) said, “Willie is the best fitness coach known to man.  Yes, the role is different; he will not be able to buy the best talent, choose the opposition or change fixtures a couple of days ahead, but there is no doubt that he is fantastic at taking top quality raw talent and getting it fit.”  When asked about the size of the contract, Robin stated that, “The big bookmakers and Mr G Banks saw it as a fantastic investment that will probably save them 50 million euro per annum at major racing festivals.”

Brian O’Driscoll the ex Irish rugby captain said, “The players will be really excited by this announcement, as they understand Mr Mullins still uses Guinness as part of his fitness regime, but they did have worries about the raw agricultural content of the diet.”


ps: The editor would like to point out that this story is not true and also apologise to Mr G Banks for any upset it may cause.